Not too long ago I chatted with a client who told me,“I'm realizing more and more that I need to break my rules,because I made them all up."“
她直截了当地说了这些话，我不觉得她会对我有什么反应。Still,I nearly fell out of my chair.她的情绪-我需要打破我的规则，because I made them all up"—might seem self-evident,but it's a realization that has taken me the better part of twenty-five years.我很惊讶她说得这么整齐，花了她那么少的时间，相对而言，to see it.
当我思考谈话的时候，I asked myself why it took me so long to see through my own rules,and then I realized that it was the wrong question.At the height of my anorexia,I did see through my rules.I knew that they had no inherent meaning.真正的问题是我为什么如此依恋他们，if I knew that they were arbitrary and self-imposed?？
我最好的答案是like规则。规则让我感到安全。They give me sensations of meaning and order and calm,which I don't have an easy time accessing on my own.They speak to the old and nagging belief that there's something within me that can't or shouldn't be unleashed,an appetite so monstrous that it'll consume me if I let it go.
I've bid farewell to my food rules,but the tendency toward self-limitation is still there.它以自定期限和承诺的形式出现，在我的小动作和微妙的指挥自己周围。It's still a buffer between me and my fears,这仍然是个问题。The longer I tiptoe around my fears,the less certain I am that I can survive them.
Self-imposed rules and their safekeeping create a sense of fragility that doesn't need to be there.I'm not so delicate that I can't handle being triggered or uncomfortable.There's nothing within me that needs to be shackled up.我学到了这一课，因为它适用于我康复时的食物，我仍在学习它适用于我的余生，too.
When I encourage people to toss out their food rules,我不是在说有意识，betway必威体育平台自我意识的意图，使饮食更有营养和健康支持。By"rules,“我是说武断，limiting formulations that keep us from taking pleasure in food.I mean unnecessary and exhausting rituals,prohibitions so old that we don't even remember why we came up with them,and constraints that make us feel safe,but also trick us into thinking that we can't handle freedom.
Yesterday,，I talked betway必威体育平台about my second recovery affirmation，which is"take up space."今天的誓词，“break your rules,“is different but intertwined,因为当你忙着把自己囚禁起来的时候，你是不可能扩张和寻求成长的。
The more permission you give yourself to eat what you want,你越快就会意识到你的预感没有问题。他们没事。They're more than OK;they're beautiful,wise and nourishing.They won't feel that way if you're constantly trying to cage them up.
人们经常问我如何放弃我的饮食规则，and I don't have a simple answer.I just got tired of a lot of them;在某个时刻，letting go became easier than holding on.研究营养有助于，因为它向我展示了身体的巨大弹性和我们的饮食可以是美丽的宽敞，which are things I didn't use to understand.
The most important step,though,has been that of befriending my body.以瑜伽为生，breath,烹饪，吃，and sexuality has opened my eyes to how lovely my appetites are,how undeserving of senseless overregulation.
I could say more betway必威体育平台about this,but instead I'd like to share Mary Oliver's"Wild Geese,“which is a poem that many of you probably know already.It was a guidepost for me when recovery was at its toughest,从那以后，我一直珍视它：
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
告诉我绝望，betway必威体育平台yours,and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
over the prairies and the deep trees,，
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese,high in the clean blue air,，
Whoever you are,无论多么孤独，，
the world offers itself to your imagination,，
calls to you like the wild geese,harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
I'll be back tomorrow with affirmation #4.
本周，，我和Gofundme一起工作to raise money for theNational Eating Disorder Associationand the work it does for people with eating disorders and their families.你的贡献将有助于保持Neda的热线，referral system,and legislative advocacy going,我非常感谢你对我的支持。You can learn more and donatehere.