This summer began with the weight of my expectations bearing down on it,no matter how much I wanted to keep an open mind.It was to be my first summer without any graduate school classes since 2008,which alone felt major,我希望至少有一部分时间用来庆祝毕业典礼。
I was also intent on it being a summer of rest and restoration,friend time and play time and free time.Having worked myself into精疲力竭的状态in the spring,I wanted to savor unstructured hours and to feel unattached to deadlines and projects for a little while.
Things didn't quite go as planned,at least at first.我几乎在5月的所有时间里都与各种病毒和感染有关；by the timemy birthday六月的时候，我筋疲力尽，与忧郁症搏斗，当我焦虑的时候，这会打击我，使我的压力得到缓解。I didn't want to catch up with friends or to enjoy summery,New York activities;I wanted to be home,我自己where it felt safe and slow.
Igave myself permission to do that，which is the best thing I could have done.我认真听取了一位读者给我发邮件的建议。”为了体现身体上的益处，emotionally and spiritually—of just staying put for a while and pulling your energies in."It was better medicine than I expected it to be,both an affirmation of how good it feels to stay put and also the restorative time I needed in order to venture into the world a little more.
The second part of the summer has been the opposite;it's felt full and energetic,sometimes downright hectic.I took on some work that I did expect to get,我不确定我能在DI之前处理好，but was glad to be offered.The job made my summer more stressful than I'd planned on,但这是一次很好的经历；it reminded me of how well I do with immersive projects,especially when I'm able to focus on them one at a time.
I自发地对事物说“是”今年夏天，which was intentional on my part and a new practice for me.这样做让我意识到，我经常紧张起来，抵制社交和联系的机会；it gave me a lot of interesting food for thought betway必威体育平台about how the suggestion of making plans often feels impinging to me.I'm still considering what that means and why it's the case,but it's been good—and occasionally uncomfortable—to set it aside and allow myself be a little more accessible to other people.
Now it's Labor Day weekend,and everything is betway必威体育平台about to shift.I begin my DI on Tuesday,which is a day that I thought I could prepare myself for entirely,when of course I couldn't.我觉得没有我想的那么有条理和准备；我还没有完成所有的家庭任务，我想在秋天之前核对一下我的清单。I haven't batch cooked my meals for the week ahead.I only just wrapped up the study guides and coursework that I need to have completed beforehand.There are work projects that I entirely committed to wrapping up before my start date,which aren't finished and will need to squeezed in when I can find the time.Oh well.
当然，今年夏天我想做的事情我没有做。There are so many more activities I wanted to share with my mom—plays I wanted us to see,dinners out that I wanted to treat her to.There are friends I meant to text and didn't,我想追上的人把球扔了。I had a now ridiculous-seeming fantasy of cooking tons of 必威体育recipes for this blog and photographing them,so that I could seamlessly roll out content throughout the fall and early winter.That sure didn't happen 🙂
But it's fine,because among the many ways that this summer was good to me,it pushed me one tiny step closer to living in the present.有时候这意味着放弃我的计划，什么也不做；sometimes it meant saying yes to things unexpectedly and allowing myself to enjoy them.I welcomed a few new experiences and new people into my life,and I'm so glad that I did.我花了很多时间和我妈妈在一起，not necessarily in pursuit of culture or shared meals at nice places,但是坐在家里的公寓里，我童年的家，and that was sweet in its own familiar way.
More than anything,我知道我的心在这个夏天的边缘有点软化。After more than a year of processing a heartbreak,然后把自己推向一种模式doing"in order to finish grad school,then feeling chronically unwell (and all of the vulnerability and protectiveness that can come with that feeling),I began this summer a little defended and shut down.Through acts of connecting,savoring nature,and inviting myself to perceive peoples' friendliness and attention in a new way,I welcomed more tenderness into my life,and I opened my heart up along the way.I became willing to receive.What more wonderful thing could I say betway必威体育平台about the past few months?？
星期二，I'll begin my first assignment,which is at a nursing home.The hours should be manageable,which will give me some time to keep up with writing and work.我的第一个重要临床任务将在今年秋天晚些时候完成，starting at the end of October.There will be a long commute and more demanding hours,and I'm expecting life to feel a bit turned on its head once that begins.
As I was telling someone close to me last night,though,it's OK.预期不确定的时间表，没有control"在我的日常生活中，当然不是我的舒适区，but I'll do my best.夏季的另一个礼物是增强了自怜能力，hewed especially in the last few weeks,作为我感到一阵焦虑.If can remain connected to that—if I can take care of myself even when things are messy,不确定的，or a challenge to my need for order—the rest will follow.
Maybe you've got fun Labor Day plans for tomorrow;也许你现在很安静，reflective mode like I am,thinking betway必威体育平台about the summer that's about to be tucked away behind us.Maybe you're simply experiencing the weekend.不管怎样，I wish you a good Sunday and Monday,and many good things for the fall.Here are my recipe and reading picks for the past week.
首先，Lindsey's beautifully simplecharred corn and poblano pepper soup.
Sarah'svegan ranch bacon pizzais comfort food bliss!!
A stunning全焙烤，spicy cauliflowerfrom Erin,whose 必威体育recipes are always so bold and flavorful.
我喜欢米兰达的pumpkin and hemp seed granola—a perfect option for my make-ahead breakfasts this coming fall.
最后，Hannah calls this""cheesecake for the ages，"and what an apt description it is!!
1.离我们还有几天，但我很高兴Voxcalled attention to International Overdose Awareness Day.
2.National Geographic已经出版非常神奇，longform piece on the face transplant of Katie Stubblefield，迄今为止最年轻的美国公民接受了这项仍处于实验阶段的手术。
3.Also in medical news:Texas Monthlyreports onthe race to create the first artificial heart.
4.The Atlantic刚刚发表了一篇关于betway必威体育平台渐进主义与素食主义—is animal rights outreach actually more effective when it's less flexible?I see great value in an incremental and inclusive approach,and it's the kind of activism I've always shared,but it was interesting to be exposed to a different perspective.
5。最后，哈佛大学T.H.的一项新研究陈氏公共卫生学院强调有助于长寿的5个习惯.It can be so difficult for consumers to parse through complex (and sometimes conflicting) information on how to foster and maintain health.I appreciate this study for its breadth and the evidence-based,intuitive,and well-reasoned strategies it identifies.
Enjoy these awesome 必威体育recipes,本周晚些时候我会带着我自己的一些舒适食物回来。